I know. I KNOW.
It’s been a long time. (1) I have been too lazy to write (2) I started doing Zumba (3) I took a web design class. Those are my excuses.
I have had many a roommate in my life, starting with siblings, then on to friends, strangers, animals… and now I have Carlee. We’re a pretty great roommate duo, but I have noticed certain reactions to statements I make. These reactions usually fall in the judgement-disgust range. It’s totally fine. Some of my favorite Carlee reactions are:
Translated: I find that gross/weird.
“GET YOUR LIFE IN ORDER!”
Translated: You’ve made a series of poor choices.
“LOCK IT UP.”
Translated: Stop whining/making poor choices/being weird.
So I dedicate this post to my roommate who puts up with my weirdness…
TOP TEN THINGS LIZ SAYS AND CARLEE JUDGES
(or has not reacted well to in the past)
Carlee does not find pickles to be an acceptable dinner. I’m an enthusiast for all things brined and I can’t be moved on this!
I learned that non nonchalantly announcing an unplanned house guest, an insect for example, does not please the lady. It might even evoke some nancy-pancy screaming and hiding in the other room. (It was a cricket, by the way.)
I hate the show, she hates the show. I watch it, she judges. What’s left to say? I’ll tell ya: ADAM LEVINE.
Carlee isn’t really molly home maker, so when I catch in the act of using the kitchen, it must be documented.
It happened to be true. I was just stating fact. Carlee could not even be bothered to react to this. She literally asked Sammy (the dog) to judge me on her behalf. He didn’t. He hasn’t shaved a thing in years; he has no room to bark about it.
I have a weird relationship with this plant. It is the only living thing I am responsible for. It must be cared for properly. Carlee did not find this amusing.
It could be any number of things and she doesn’t want to hear ANY of them. But I tell her anyway.
Going to the dog park feels like those dreams in high school where you showed up with no pants on. Everyone is staring at you and you just want to leave.
She pretends that she is giving up soda! “It’s just one!” Might as well tie yourself off and starting looking for a good vein, roomy!
Well, it did! But what really got her goat is when I took the Febreze from the pantry to take care of the problem. Apparently using Febreze to cover up the smell of vodka, sweat and shame is unacceptable roommate behavior…I’m working on locking it up.